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एक पार्टी में एक औरत ने वेटर को आवाज़ लगाईं और उससे पूछा, "अरे भईया सुनो वह सुन्दर सी लड़की किधर
गई जो शराब बांटती फिर रही थी?"

वेटर: जी उसका तो पता नहीं पर क्या आपको शराब की तलाश है?

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पप्पू: जी मेरा नाम पप्पू है।

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संता: आसान है यार, यदि कोई चुपचाप खरीदारी करें तो समझो प्रेमी-प्रेमिका हैं, और यदि केवल मोल-तोल करते हुए आपस
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The Reluctant Mum talks about having a favorite between her two kids. Are you also in the same position? Or did you have a sibling who was preferred more than you?
Share your thoughts in comments of this post. :)

Sandhya Menon

 

 

April 11, 2013 by bloggerani

Why Can’t I Be A Football Fan?

Why aren’t women easily accepted into the fold by male football supporters?

India – Where everyone’s supposed to be equal according to our laws and there isn’t supposed to be any bias based on caste, religion, or sex.

India is where I live, and India is where I’ve learnt to survive as a female football fan.

I’m sure there are many like me out there, but when it comes to voicing our opinion, apart from ranting on Social Media there’s nothing much we can really boast about.Society is so used to demeaning the status of the Indian woman, that at the end of the day, she forgets who she really is at times.

And when it comes to something like football, which is one of those typical “guy things”, I’ve come to realize that most maleswouldn’t appreciate it if a female challenged his skills or even his knowledge.

So what is it about the male section of our society?Are they jealous? Are they sexist?

To our faces, most men behave extremely sweetly and also pretend to be impressed when we say we follow football. Walk away and one will find them cracking slightly offensive jokes at our expense, which vary right from supporting a particular team to sporting a team’s jersey, and even about the offside rule.

Women have had to put up with some very patronising behaviour at times in the still fairly masculine world of football. We all recall Sky Sports dinosaurs Andy Gray and Richard Keys’ jibes at a female Assistant Referee – ’Do us a favour love, do you even know the off side rule? When male officials get it wrong, it’s because they’re inept. When female officials get it wrong, apparently it’s because they’re women?

Anyone with two eyes, a marginally functioning brain,and enough female friends, knows that women are a significant part of the football community worldwide, and now in India as well.

Women, and I’m speaking on behalf of all the female football fans I know, don’t watch or support a football team just because they have ‘cute players’. Also, supporting a team just because they’re winning trophies isn’t something a woman would do. But having said that, I won’t deny that there are a certain number of ‘plastic fans’. Those numbers, however, would be considerably less if compared with men, so the ‘plasticity’ of fans is common across both sexes.

In my opinion, there are three main types of female football fans:

1. The ones who love the game, and everything that has got anything to do with it. They’re the ones who won’t miss a single game for anything in the world, and even if they can’t watch the game live at the stadium, they make sure they watch it on TV.
2. The second type also love their team, however, they’re a little less dedicated (if I may say so). They’ll buy their team’s jerseys, support their team during their ups and downs and keep abreast with everything that’s happening. This section of fans is rather important for they’re the ones blowing up Twitter and Facebook, demanding that games get streamed if not aired live on TV; they’re constantly buzzing on Social Media when it comes to their team and football in general.
3. And the third type are the ones who’ve jumped on the bandwagon – just because everyone else was doing it! They know who the players are and they definitely know who the hottest players are, but ask them what was their team’s ‘back four’ during a particular game, and they won’t have a clue.

Too many times on Social Media and in person, female fans have been labeled “glory hunters” or “plastic fans”, which is rather uncalled for. I have to say this to all men, with due respect, that women are definitely aware of the “Offside Rule”, thank you very much. We cry when our team loses, cry harder when we win. A player’s injury affects us more than our own and it’s the end of the world when someone leaves our club.

We rant on Twitter not because we want to attract followers, but because it hurts us when our team doesn’t perform well. I don’t see a reason why people think we’re trying to boast about our knowledge of the game when we tweet about it; we just love the sport!

Growing up in India and breaking all the rules when I fell in love with Thierry Henry was the defining moment in my life. Football took precedence over everything else – even friends.

What was the case with me 12 years ago stands true until date.If my team has a bad game, my entire week is ruined. And if my team has a brilliant game, it goes without saying that I’d have a brilliant week.

Football is directly responsible for my state of mind.But no matter how much ever I love my club, and no matter how many tears I shed – not to mention the very colourful language I use during a game – I’ll always have that question mark on my loyalty. Speaking from experience, and I’m sure most girls’ experience, it doesn’t take long for a guy to point fingers and spew venom.

It’s really sad some of things women are told by various people, just because they love a sport.

“You’re fat and that jersey looks ugly on you.”

So if I’m not “sexy” or “hot”, I’m not supposed to wear my team’s jersey? Is that what all female football fans are perceived as? Sex symbols?

Just recently, I received a not-so-comforting tweet – “You’re a girl. What do you understand about football? Go make me a sandwich, *****!”

I laughed it off then, but somewhere inside it stung.Why can’t I have a place for myself in those hundreds and thousands of football fans?Do I need to prove my knowledge and love for the game at every single step?

A Nike campaign comes to mind at this juncture. Sometime during 2010, they released a new video – “Paving The Way” – which had young boys thanking the men’s national team for inspiring them, and surprisingly, it didn’t feature a single girl. The advertisement was subject to some criticism for the same, but the male community was quiet at large.

Just because I am a woman and I live in India, doesn’t mean my place is in the kitchen or inside the four walls of the house. We’re independent and strong women, and if we love a sport, as much as men can ever think of doing (or even more), it’s high time that they made space for us in their world.

We may be emotional goats, but we’re loyal football fans; and at the end of the day, that is exactly what matters.

Note: This article was originally published in the March print edition of 90 Minutes, which is India’s only football magazine.

 

This entry was posted in Arsenal, Football and tagged Andy Gray, Football, India, Sky Sports, Social media, Thierry Henry, Women Football Fans.
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27 Comments

27 thoughts on “Why Can’t I Be A Football Fan?”

The Nameless One says:

April 11, 2013 at 9:19 pm

The place is filled with sexists and arrogant fools which you can’t do anything about (except kick them in the balls or kill them, but that’s illegal so, unless you can get away with it)
In the end, you do, follow and.. love what you love. Doesn’t matter what another one says.
And not all guys are dicks, just saying.

 

Sriram says:

April 13, 2013 at 12:10 pm

Kicking them in the balls is not illegal. There might be a small fine but its usually worth the satisfaction of having delivered a nice kick

 

bloggerani says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:43 pm

True. But sometimes, stuff people say just pricks you real bad. The post was just a reaction to that

 

Jane Borges says:

April 11, 2013 at 9:50 pm

Good one… it was time someone spoke about it

 

bloggerani says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:44 pm

Agree with you totally, Jane! Women football fans in India have taken enough bullshit. Time someone took a stand.

 

keyursavaliya says:

April 11, 2013 at 9:53 pm

superb post……………#

 

bloggerani says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:44 pm

Thank you

 

Jaskaran says:

April 12, 2013 at 1:36 pm

I like that you are a supporter. I sympathise with your views on being not accepted. And I personally find it really hot that a girl is into football and arsenal! You shouldn’t care about these idiots who make fun of you. Just have fun and enjoy supporting the arsenal. Hopefully, we will have many more female supporters in the future to shut these idiots up. And don’t worry, you’re plenty pretty!

 

bloggerani says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:45 pm

Haha.. We DO have plenty of female Arsenal/football fans; but they’re just all closet fans. I really hope that they don’t shy away from expressing their support anymore

 

Satish ( @Gooner_satz ) says:

April 12, 2013 at 2:02 pm

Quality work on the post. I do believe the way some female football supporters are treated is quite absurd & unnecessary. How others look at you hardly matters. To be yourself is all that you can do. Be proud of who you are. And I am glad that a Goonerette has come out and voiced her opinions on female football supporters. Proud of you. Hope to read more good work of yours in the future. Take care.

 

bloggerani says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:46 pm

Thank you, Satish Someone had to speak about this, so why not me?

 

Sriram says:

April 13, 2013 at 12:17 pm

“You’re fat and that jersey looks ugly on you.”

Just recently, I received a not-so-comforting tweet – “You’re a girl. What do you understand about football? Go make me a sandwich, *****!”

These guys surely need to get their head out of the gutter.

I admit I do not know much about any sport but that is because my poison is different but this is not civil by any measure.

As long as you can kick real hard where it hurts, we can surely teach a small lesson in civility .

 

bloggerani says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:49 pm

Hahaha.. I have done that before, but a goalkeeper doesn’t get that chance often However, it does feel good!

 

Top Indian Bloggers must read this Tuesday! says:

April 16, 2013 at 5:00 pm

[...] Why Can’t I Be A Football Fan? [...]

 

Tushar says:

April 17, 2013 at 12:09 am

I have been to screenings, i have commented on various posts and forums and never have I met a female football fan in India. I did not know whether it was because of people being sexist or there is seriously a dearth of female fans. But your post has changed many a perceptions of mine.

And to an extent, you might find it surprising, but even, I, being a ‘GUY’ have witnessed this. People take me supporting a certain football club (in my case, Arsenal) a joke. Its tough to understand why people discard being a football fan so easily and most importantly, who gave them the damn authority to judge others?

I am totally with you. Keep supporting. and let the buggers die in hell

 

vivek says:

April 19, 2013 at 10:30 am

Good to know that ur a football fan and a gooner….keep rocking..

 

bloggerani says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:51 pm

Thank you

 

bloggerani says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:50 pm

Tushar,
There are a lot of female football fans in India; and not only in Bombay, everywhere! And yes, when it comes to Arsenal, people are always judgemental for whatever reason pleases them. It’s best suited to us to ignore them

 

vaisakhi mishra says:

April 18, 2013 at 2:31 pm

every time wen i start chanting stuffs about football anywhere i find a guy in my group or around…but there is always a guy who comes up and asks me “do u even know what football is…what is offside rule??”…and then there are times when people play name the player and wen we answer more than them all they say is “showoff”…and not “this girl does know her game”….why do people have this notion women can’t be football fans….its a crazy world…and i can bet the plastic fans are more in the “MAN” category than us…people who pretend to love a team of just the sport so that they can tag along with some cool group!!!… i hate they way female football fans are considered “PLASTIC”…#

 

bloggerani says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:51 pm

Shhh.. Let’s not point fingers at the males, Vaisakhi. They’re happy with what they are, plastic or not. We’re happy with being the football fans we are

 

Football, Women, Fried Rice and Popcorn. | The Nameless One says:

April 20, 2013 at 7:02 pm

[...] is a post written by a good blogger friend of mine, Why Can’t I Be A Football Fan? She talks about the difficulties and rather idiocies faced by women here. I won’t go further, [...]

 

Anonymous says:

April 29, 2013 at 7:03 pm

Saying girls that are football fans are all ‘plastic’ fans assuming they are fans of hot athletic men is like saying guys are football fans for the sexy, glamorous cheerleaders that come around during the matches.

 

bloggerani says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:52 pm

Hahahaha.. Really true! But such is life

 

Cosmo Smallpiece (@Cosmopeleton) says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:33 pm

I’m glad that you take an interest in the No.1 team in the world and that you show so much enthusiasm. Much more than some fans in London do. The more women that follow football, the more that attitudes will change towards women who follow football especially Arsenal. That said, you are a very attractive woman with all the correct attributes. Ding dong! x.

 

bloggerani says:

May 7, 2013 at 7:53 pm

I love that you called Arsenal the ‘No. 1′ team in the world
And I’m sure you’ll agree it’s impossible NOT to be enthusiastic about a team we love so much!
And thank you for the compliment

 

goonerdhanesh says:

June 21, 2013 at 12:20 pm

I have been reading Amanda’s post in gunnerstown today where she mentioned about how this particular blog inspired her to write a piece of her own.. Honestly after reading this blog, I agree to almost all the points you mentioned.. and being an Indian, I know how boys or male football fans treat female football fans….

anyways hats off to the article.. more like this expected from you.

 

Soumasish says:

July 1, 2013 at 7:04 pm

The roots of patriarchy goes very deep in this country’s contemporary culture. We generally are habituated in associating and depicting women as commodities. So, the instantaneous rejection of you (A woman) being an ardent football from many around you is not very surprising. You see we are taught to believe that men are the dominant force in our species and women are taught and even trained to comply to the rules we lay down. A very simple example. When we go to a shop or a store to buy present for a five year old male child, cricket kits, footballs, sports goods and accessories are very common, ins’t it? On the contrary Barbie, and doll houses rule our choices in our endeavor of buying a gift for a five year old female child. Buying presents is a very fundamental activity in our society. Understand how patriarchy has engulfed such a basic decorum. We don’t even realize how unaware we are and how our actions assist the basic notions that patriarchy feeds on. “A football for a Five year old girl!!?” To many it’s ludicrous, to others it’s inappropriate. We grow up with this ideology. The same analogy applies in your case. “She’s a Football fan?” Suddenly, we feel our superiority is challenged and our masculine space is infiltrated and that too by an “Indian woman”?. And then you dare to refute one our popular notions.(For example you claim that Thierry Henry is a better player than Nistelrooy {Now I am not saying that this actually is true, primarily because it’s a subject of debate, discussion and most importantly perception.. Both were excellent and very effective}). And the question marks and apprehensions starts pouring in and you are told to keep shut and go make sandwiches. But I have a question. I understand this blog is a spontaneous reaction to feudal male sentiments but Why do you seem surprised? This great country of ours is a huge land mass where mythical goddesses are worshiped with a whole lot of pomp and splendor while ordinary women are subjected to torture and violent atrocities.
I have been following you on twitter for a couple of months now and what I imagine is that you are an enthusiastic and passionate Arsenal Fan. About your write up there’s not much to comment on. Very candid, very spontaneous and quite upright I must add. I’ll just tell you what I usually tell fans of others clubs when I am faced with the Question.. What have you achieved or learned since the last time Arsenal won a Trophy (with a whole lot of pun and mockery intended)..? To which I reply with a smile. “I learnt to keep my Faith alive and laugh at pathetic, Glory hunting, feeble heart sissies like all of you”
You have been a gooner for a long time now, so don’t have to remind you about the sudden rush of adrenaline that gushes through your veins when an Arsenal player whacks the ball in the back of the opponent’s net, when the final whistle blows and we secure a win. The sheer joy and euphoria.!!!
Well that’s enough I piled up a lot while my actual intention was to add a “small” comment to your post. Before I rest my fingers there’s just one more thing I would like to write here…
“ONCE A GOONER ALWAYS A GOONER” (Does’t matter if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, man, woman, straight, eunuch!! You are Arsenal!!)

 

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A Real Look Inside Dharavi Slum in Mumbai

by Sharell शारेल on April 9, 2013

in Daily Life in India, Inspirational India

 

 

 

Contact

Hi there, due to the number of emails I’ve been receiving and time constraints, I regret that I can’t answer India related questions personally (including advice about relationships, marriage, and visas).

If you do have a question, please DO NOT email me directly. In order to get a response please post it in the forum. It has been created for this purpose, and there are many knowledgeable people there who will help. India is a huge and diverse country, with many different cultures and traditions, hence the reason why asking me personally for advice isn’t the best option. What’s more, I get asked similar questions over and over again. I do understand that signing up to the forum is inconvenient in order to ask a question, but hopefully you can appreciate how inconvenient and time consuming it is for me to reply to emails that are all asking for the same information. If it can be found on the forum, it helps everybody!

If you would like to discuss a blog post, please leave a comment on the relevant post that I can respond to, rather than sending me your comments directly.

If you’d like to get in touch with me about any other matter, you can email me: sharell at whiteindianhousewife dot com

However, please don’t waste your time and mine with critical, insulting, or inflammatory messages. They’ll go straight in the trash.

I’ll do my best to reply to your message. However, often there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get through everyone’s requests, get my full time work done, and have some relaxation time. Therefore, please excuse me if I respond late or don’t respond. This blog is a labour of love, and its upkeep requires a lot of effort that does get exhausting. Sometimes I simply need to take a break.

Thank you!

 

 

“Welcome to Dharavi!” a customer called out to us from the chai wala, as we exited the stairs at Mahim West railway station. I had just entered what is often labeled as Asia’s largest slum. Yes, THAT slum, which rose to fame in the movie Slumdog Millionaire and angered many Indians for its portrayal of poverty. The movie has been referred to as an example of “poverty porn”, one that encourages perverse western voyeurism and promotes slum tourism.

And, there I was, about to embark on a two hour “slum tour” of Dharavi. But, if you think I was indulging in any kind of poverty voyeurism, think again.

“You’ve lived in Mumbai for five years and never been to Dharavi?”, my guide, Salman, was shocked and not at all impressed when he found out. “I’ve never really had any reason to visit,” I tried to defend myself. He was having none of it though. “It’s important for everyone to come to Dharavi and see how it functions, see the industry going on here. This is not a place where poor people are depressed. Look around. Do you see any beggars?”, he implored me.

Indeed, I could not. What I could see were laughing children running through the lanes, and people diligently working in all types of small scale industries.

To further dispel any notion of poverty stricken people miserable in squalor, Salman began quoting astonishing numbers to me. In Dharavi, there are a total of 4,902 production units bringing in an annual income of $1 billion USD. They’re divided into:

• 1039 textiles
• 932 porters
• 567 leather
• 498 embroidery
• 722 recycling
• 111 restaurants
• Thousands of boutiques.

“Dharavi has so many specialist industries because of the people moving here from different areas of India, and they bring their skills with them,” Salman informed me.

Salman, whose name is actually Salman Khan (yes, the same as the Bollywood actor, who not surprisingly is very popular in Salman’s household), is a proud Dharavi local. His grandparents migrated to Mumbai and he has lived in Dharavi all his life. Perhaps not what you’d expect, he confidently speaks flawless English and is studying Science at college. He’s also employed as a Dharavi tour guide by Be The Local Tours and Travel. This unique and inspiring company was set up by, and is managed by, local students of Dharavi. Their aim is simple: to dispel the negative image of the slum, and help local students gain valuable skills and earn money to pay for their education.

As we walked, Salman continued to explain the importance of Dharavi in the context of Mumbai. “Now, everyone is taking an interest in Dharavi’s infrastructure and facilities. It’s well connected by both Mahim West railway station and the Eastern Express Highway. The government wants to redevelop the area and build highrise apartments, and they’ll move the residents into these apartments.”

Without understanding Dharavi, you could easily mistake this for a good thing. After all, residents will be getting free apartments as part of the deal. However, as Salman revealed to me, the truth is much more complicated. “The residents have emotional attachment to their chawls. Plus, the government is going to give everyone 225-275 square foot apartments, regardless of how much space they already have. Also, only people who have been living in Dharavi from before the year 2000 are eligible to get an apartment.”

Then, there is the troublesome issue of what will happen to the small scale industries, which will have to be moved out of the area. “It will be difficult for residents to have to travel to far-off, relocated work places,” Salman lamented.

The first part of the tour took us through some of the small scale industry workshops. It was fascinating to see how they operated. Salman explained the process of plastic recycling, as we watched the work going on. “First, the plastics for recycling are grouped together according to colour and quality. Next, they’re crushed and made into small pieces. Then, they’re washed and dried on the roof tops. After that, they’re taken and rolled into pallets, and sent to the plastic manufacturers. 60,000 recycled products are made from them.” All kinds of plastic items, from chai cups to pieces of old telephones, were being sorted through and processed by Dharavi residents.

My friend and I got really excited once we reached the block printing workshop. They were making export quality fabrics….and due to overwhelming demand, it was possible to buy them! (Oh, the joy that only females can understand)!

Salman called the “boss man” over. “He doesn’t look like the boss but he is,” he referred to the informally dressed topless man, who commenced laying out a range of beautiful fabrics before us. Unlike many Indian shopkeepers, he knew not to pull out too many pieces, and overwhelm and confuse us. And, he left us alone to decide what we wanted.

Export quality fabric and dupatta that I bought.

The tour progressed through other small scale industries. Used tin drums were being renewed and repainted, leather was being processed, vessels were being spun on pottery wheels, small clay diyas were being shaped, and pappads were being rolled out (next time you dine at a restaurant in Mumbai, it’s likely that the pappad you eat would’ve been made in Dharavi).

Soft deep red leather belt that I bought.

Small heart shaped diyas drying.

No, Dharavi isn't a dirty place. Notice the rubbish bin!

While photography isn’t allowed on the Dharavi tour, occasionally Salman gave us the opportunity to take pictures.
“The artists do appreciate the acknowledgement of their work. It makes them proud that foreigners come
and take an interest in what they do, and even buy what they make.”

As I was taking photos of the diyas, a giggling group of small girls came over to say hello and talk to us.
“I want to explore the world with you,” one declared. She must’ve only been aged around six or seven, but already she was dreaming big.
And, talking fluently in English.

I asked Salman about education in Dharavi. “Around 80% of children are going to school now.
Parents are recognising the importance of education and learning English.”
Then he reeled off more numbers to me. “There are 60 municipality schools, four secondary schools, and 13 private schools in Dharavi.”

There’s also great unity in the slum. “28 temples, 11 mosques, 6 churches, and 24 Islamic education centers”, Salman informed me.
 “Most industries are self sufficient, but they also support each other. For example, the potters use scraps of cloth from the textile industries as fuel for their kilns.”

No doubt, it’s the distinctive sense of community that helps make Dharavi a cheerful place.
Salman took us through the narrow lanes of one residential part of the slum — lanes so narrow that
I struggled to walk properly and had to crouch down to avoid hitting my head.
There were exposed wires everywhere. But, it was clean, and huge drums of fresh drinking water stood at the entrance to people’s homes.
Groups of housewives sat around chatting to each other, while their children played. “The slum even has 24 hour power,”
Salman said. “The government has been looking after it.”

But what about the infamous slum Mafia? Salam laughed. “It doesn’t really exist anymore.
They’ve become politicians so what they do is legal now.”

Too soon, the two hours of the tour were up. “I hope it’s changed your thoughts about Dharavi?” Salman asked.
Without a doubt, it was an amazing, eye opening,
and POSITIVE experience. Everyone should go on a Dharavi tour and experience it for themselves.
In my view, anyone who is reluctant to do so because they’re worried about “poverty tourism” needs to examine their egos and false sense of superiority.
The people in Dharavi are not ashamed of how they live, nor are they miserable. They are friendly, welcoming, and dignified.

Think of it this way. Most of us don’t have the riches to afford a private jet and we often travel on public transport.
Are we sad because we can’t afford a private jet? No. Sad because we don’t live in a 12 bedroom mansion?
No. It’s simply not part of our existence, our standard of living.
In fact, we don’t even know what we’re missing.
Likewise, the residents of Dharavi are not feeling depressed because they don’t have the same standard of living as us.
They’re far too busy making the most of what they have, not dwelling on what they don’t have. And, if you put aside notions of money and material wealth,
they’re actually richer than what we are because there’s so much love and support amongst their community,
 they need never feel isolated, sad or lonely. To be totally honest, I envied them for this.

Salman chatted to us some more before departing. “My dream is to own an Audi but I know not to rely on that to make me happy.
My boss, the tour company owner, told me that I’ll only want something else after a while.”

Ain’t that the truth! There are indeed important life lessons to be learned from visiting Dharavi.Related Posts You May Like:

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